"I don't need a white dress to feel pretty, and I have no desire to pretend I'm virginal. I don't need to have Jeff propose to me as if he's chosen me. I don't need a ring as a daily reminder to myself or others that I am loved. And I don't need Jeff to say publicly that he loves me, because he says it privately, not just in words but in daily actions."
Bonnie Eslinger in her article, "Yes to Love, No to Marriage,"
January 14, 2008 edition of Newsweek
I have recently started reading Al Mohler's blog. Al Mohler is currently the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. My pastor has referred to his blog several times recently during his sermons, so I decided to check it out. As a stay-at-home mom of two preschoolers, I find it hard to engage in any sort of adult interaction on a regular basis. Reading blogs such as this one helps me feel as if I haven't completely lost touch with society in general. All that to say that reading his current post struck such a chord with me that I needed an outlet. I'll point out as he did after citing this paragraph that Ms. Eslinger refers to herself 11 times in these brief few lines. This is part of her answer to why she only "willingly gave [her] heart to the intent of his question" instead of agreeing to marry him. Now, I don't know Ms. Eslinger, nor do I know her 'Jeff,' so commenting on either of their characters would be completely inappropriate. I can, however, give my opinion on her statements concerning the importance of marriage and the subtle implications she makes about those of us who treasure not only the institution of marriage in general but also our own marriages. The day Jared proposed to me is still one of the best days of my life. I was so filled with joy at the thought that he wanted to commit his life to me that I wanted the whole world to know. I couldn't wait for us to share our vows with all of our friends and family. Did I need to share it with people to make our relationship authentic? Of course not. Did I need the ring or the dress or the piece of paper? Of course not. None of the cultural traditions surrounding the institution of marriage are necessary. The marriage itself is the important thing. The deep level of commitment as well as the implicit accountibilty make marriage essential to our society. Ms. Eslinger's objections to marriage here in this paragraph apply only to a wedding, which is not the same as marriage.
It just irritates me so much when I read articles like Ms. Eslinger's that seem to imply that those of us, especially women, who still value things such as marriage or staying at home with our children or heaven forbid, biblical male & female roles are somehow in bondage or unenlightened.
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