left behind

okay, so, i just recently checked out some friends' blogs and now feel as if i have no business doing this kind of thing. isn't that always the way though? at least it is with me. most of the time, i am very content with my life. i enjoy my house, my routine, the way i take care of rach & noah during the day, etc. and then, i'll visit a friend's home or read how some mom home educates their children and i feel as if i am just not good enough. why is that? i know in my head that comparing myself to other people is destructive and doesn't accomplish anything. and yet, i do it all the same.

sobering thoughts

My favorite radio show is The Rick & Bubba show based here in B'ham. I learned that one of the co-hosts, Rick, lost his youngest son in an accidental drowning. Bronner was 2 years old.
For several reasons, this news has pretty much captured my thoughts this afternoon. One, its Sunday, and though I know this shouldn't be limited to just one day a week, my thoughts are usually somewhat reflective and deep every Sunday. Two, I'm pregnant, and my emotions are very heightened. Three, Rachel just turned 3 in November and Noah will be 2 in March, right there at the same age.
Jared and I spent a little while talking about the news earlier. My heart breaks for Rick and his family and for everyone involved in the show as I'm sure they are all very close. Losing a child has to be the hardest trial anyone could go through in this life. This will definitely be a monumental turning point for everyone involved. I'm wondering about the innumerable affects this event will have. The family obviously will never be the same. I pray that God will comfort them, give them strength to just get out of bed, keep them from despair, hold their minds and hearts by His mercy, bring them wise counsel and comfort through godly friends, bind Satan from their thoughts, begin to bring healing, reveal Himself as a loving God to Bronner's older siblings. I wonder what the future of the radio show will look like. Will the format change? Will any person involved still be motivated to provide the same brand of silliness and humor that they've always brought to their listeners? I wonder about the audience, both believers and non-believers alike. Could this possibly be a turning point for them as well? Could God use this tragedy to bring many into His kingdom by the testimony of Rick and his family?
In situations like this, the only thing believers can do is remember what God has said in His word about who He is, about life, and about His plans and purposes for everything that happens. He is good. He is sovreign. He is God. He loves us.

one of my pet peeves

"I don't need a white dress to feel pretty, and I have no desire to pretend I'm virginal. I don't need to have Jeff propose to me as if he's chosen me. I don't need a ring as a daily reminder to myself or others that I am loved. And I don't need Jeff to say publicly that he loves me, because he says it privately, not just in words but in daily actions."
Bonnie Eslinger in her article, "Yes to Love, No to Marriage,"
January 14, 2008 edition of Newsweek

I have recently started reading Al Mohler's blog. Al Mohler is currently the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. My pastor has referred to his blog several times recently during his sermons, so I decided to check it out. As a stay-at-home mom of two preschoolers, I find it hard to engage in any sort of adult interaction on a regular basis. Reading blogs such as this one helps me feel as if I haven't completely lost touch with society in general. All that to say that reading his current post struck such a chord with me that I needed an outlet. I'll point out as he did after citing this paragraph that Ms. Eslinger refers to herself 11 times in these brief few lines. This is part of her answer to why she only "willingly gave [her] heart to the intent of his question" instead of agreeing to marry him. Now, I don't know Ms. Eslinger, nor do I know her 'Jeff,' so commenting on either of their characters would be completely inappropriate. I can, however, give my opinion on her statements concerning the importance of marriage and the subtle implications she makes about those of us who treasure not only the institution of marriage in general but also our own marriages. The day Jared proposed to me is still one of the best days of my life. I was so filled with joy at the thought that he wanted to commit his life to me that I wanted the whole world to know. I couldn't wait for us to share our vows with all of our friends and family. Did I need to share it with people to make our relationship authentic? Of course not. Did I need the ring or the dress or the piece of paper? Of course not. None of the cultural traditions surrounding the institution of marriage are necessary. The marriage itself is the important thing. The deep level of commitment as well as the implicit accountibilty make marriage essential to our society. Ms. Eslinger's objections to marriage here in this paragraph apply only to a wedding, which is not the same as marriage.

It just irritates me so much when I read articles like Ms. Eslinger's that seem to imply that those of us, especially women, who still value things such as marriage or staying at home with our children or heaven forbid, biblical male & female roles are somehow in bondage or unenlightened.

'it takes a village..'

I took Rach and Noah to Wal*Mart today. Why is it that people feel not only the need but also feel that its their duty to comment on how strangers take care of their children? Is this a generational thing? It was 37-ish degrees outside and rain/snowing a little bit, and horror of horrors, I had neglected to put a hat on Noah. Never mind that we were only going in and out of Wal*Mart. Never mind that I searched for and found a close parking space. Never mind that Rachel was wearing the hoodie on her coat. Never mind that Noah was dressed warmly in every other sense of the word. Why is it that I earn a "tsk, tsk" from the "friendly, helpful Wal*Mart team member" because my almost 2-year-old is without a hat?

one of my things

Every one has 'their things,' little quirks that they enjoy that other folks might find silly or boring or just pointless. I have several. For example, I love to do the crossword puzzle in the newspaper every morning after breakfast, usually while drinking something warm and caffeinated. Rach and Noah sit happily entertained watching Dora or Diego or Wonder Pets, and I have a few minutes to try and think of 3-,4-,5-word answers to a plethora of clues. I've yet to finish one but I've come really close several times. Another one of my things is watching Gilmore Girls. The series has officially ended, but ABC Family shows the reruns in order every afternoon at 4. I don't know why I enjoy watching this show so much. Most of 'my things' are without explanation anyway. I'm impressed with how educated and well-read Rory seems to be; I like to read. I absolutely love the mother/daughter relationship Rory & Lorelai have; I have a daughter, and I think it'd be so much fun to be that close with Rachel when she hits those crazy teenage years. I enjoy analyzing all of Lorelai's decisions; why it took her so long to finally let Christopher go has still got me stumped. I don't know...its just one of those shows that is fun to watch with a group of girlfriends as you eat pizza and myriads of other junk food. It reminds me of when I was in college ~ Tuesday nights, my roommates and I would order pizza because Papa Johns had a 'two-for-tuesday' deal. We'd sit on the floor in front of the TV and watch whichever made-for-tv movie seemed most appealing while at the same time take the latest quizzes in Cosmo and Glamour. It was great fun even if we ended up watching way too much lifetime.

a new year

So, its January 1st again. This is the first time I have not stayed up to ring in the new year. I was however awakened by my neighbors' fireworks. How kind of them to let me (and the rest of the neighborhood) know that a new year has indeed begun. I'm almost scared to admit this - yet the admission is probably way overdue. I have crossed that line, the line seperating young adult and full-on parent. Like I said, in actuality I crossed this line a long, long time ago, but I have just now come to the point where I can admit it to myself and truly embrace this new stage of life. Not that I don't miss the "old days." I do, especially when I am reminded of them by my brother & sister-in-law who are reveling in the newly married stage. While Jared and I were changing diapers and reading bedtime stories, they were dancing with the rest of the AU fans in the Georgia dome and deciding what would be the best place to watch the peach drop. I have to admit that I was a bit jealous - okay, a lot jealous. But, then, when I went back to check on our babies before going to bed myself (at 10:45-ish) and saw how precious they look when they're all fast asleep holding their boo-bays and duckies, I realized that I wouldn't trade this time of my life for anything in the world. Bring on that mini-van....